Affirmation

I have a lot of unfinished stories since all of this began. Drafts of profiles on the leading candidates seeking the presidency - back when it was Sanders, Warren, and Harris, considering if Buttigieg or Klobuchar should be included. A piece on the music industry and the pause of our careers, a follow up to my furlough and impending layoff. The death tolls that felt far away and then suddenly hit home - a grandparent, a hero, an uncle, an emblem - unable to honor the lives of individuals lost. A message on my privilege, an effort to address the disgrace of a politicized race war in the 21st century. The story of our next supreme court justice, who was confirmed before I could even bear to write about it. Words fail the weight of this reality. And ultimately, I didn’t feel like my voice was worth adding to the noise. 

On a day that should feel like an enormous win - I can’t help but think only of the work ahead. Of the next four years of restoration. Turning the car around and getting us back into a reasonable world standing. I can’t help but think, what am I missing that the “other side” gets and believes in so deeply? Why is decency the middle ground? Why are we still settling for old white men? Why are we so afraid of change?

It’s a grim time, it just is. It’s a dark time for people of color, whose basic rights were on the line in this election, and all the ones before that. For immigrants, for the LGBTQIA+ community, for differently-abled folks, and anyone with an intersection of the bunch. Where science is secondary. Where women’s bodies are debate topics between two men. 

This is the fine line of 4 million people who broke the divide. Another 70 million came out per candidate. That’s our division, that’s our minimal difference. Over 30% of eligible voters didn’t even bother to cast their ballots. What is this indifference? Lack of information? Lack of access? A discouraged people? 

This president is a monolith of a hushed half of the country. Joe Biden will be the next president, and it wasn’t obvious and we can’t take it for granted. Kamala Harris will be the first woman and person of color to serve as vice president. Shirley Chisolm sought the presidency in ‘72. Where was she in my history class? What have we learned?

This win is necessary. But it doesn’t band-aid the wound still opened from the last four years. And all the years before that, when nothing changed. It’s shameful. It’s so easy to feel hopeless and powerless, especially after years of vying for hope and empowerment. People showed up, people spoke out - on all sides across the spectrum. And we were all heard! The problem and the solution hold hands, and we all crumble. 

This moment feels like the precipice. The bitter end we needed to reach somehow, so we could all turn around and settle back into normalcy. Or is it complacency? We’re not ready for the shake up. No massive systemic change. But we’re supposed to feel like we’ve made it somewhere anyway. We have, of course. All we have is forward. It’s okay to forget that sometimes though, we’re only human. In this last presidential term, we’ve been asked to forget what that means. To hang on and dismiss everything as “crazy” or dare I say, “unprecedented.” 

This win is emblematic. Like that of the other guy’s, it’s a representation of just one side. Except that this one tells the world we’re willing to do things differently than last time. Hope cannot fade, but that’s a decision we each have to make. It’s not a given, nothing is anymore.

So, I don’t have something new to add, just some thoughts that I’ve sort of organized enough to share. 

Today is an affirmation. It’s important. It matters. Representation matters. It’s dancing in the street and it’s staying inside, celebrating what tomorrow may bring and being equally if not more afraid, too. Be patient and fair to yourself, we’ve come a long way in this process. Not all victories feel like triumphs, but they are proof that it’s possible to keep going. 

x Dani Pinkus